Introducing a Daughter, a Message, and Some Cool Tshirts :)

As soon as we knew we were hitting the adoption trail again, we designed a tee for a fundraiser.  (Actually, we are offering two designs, so scroll all the way down to see both.)  The way this design is intricately interwoven with the life of our future daughter is incredibly cool.  Read on.  I'll keep it short, but it is powerful.

Here is the design.  Its message comes from Exodus 22:23 where God tells us that when orphans and widows cry out in distress, He hears them!  God cares for the fatherless, and so do we.

 

Now comes the powerful part.  As we began looking at files of children waiting in China's Special Needs program, we found our daughter.  She is 9 years old and has cerebral palsy that affects her walk.  Children who have been in an orphanage this long know why people come around and take their pictures and measurements.  They know it is an "update" to their adoption file.  The last time folks came around to take this sweet young lady's photos, which was shortly before God brought her file to us, she began crying.  She said:

"No one is ever going to want me."

 

Too many updates.

 

Too many other children in her orphanage leaving with their adoptive families.

 

Too many years of waiting.  Her hope was crushed.

 

Then the redeeming part of the story!!  Do you see what happened?!  This orphan literally and physically cried out in distress . . .

 

. . . AND GOD HEARD!!

 

He stirred her family to move!  Here is our gorgeous girl:

Our list of potential names has stayed pretty steady over the years of adding children, but a new name came across Jon's mind:  Samantha.  When we looked up its' meaning, it was perfect.  Samantha means "God heard"!!!  She is our Samantha Hope.  Sweet child, you have always been His wanted child, and now you will be ours. 

Design #2 is one that we created for my niece's adoption, but we like it so much we decided to offer it for ours as well.  This design was stirred by our passion that every child matters, and adoption is a love language that goes beyond borders, race, and special needs.  "Adoption Means Love in Any Language" is available in blue OR black, sizes youth XS, small, medium, large, and Adult Small - XXXL! 

 Our plan is to take orders through January 21st, 2015, with the hopes of receiving them and mailing them out the first week of February. 

GREAT Valentine gifts for someone with a heart for children! 

*Suggested donation for either design is $15, plus $2 if you need it shipped.  Yes, this shirt is to help us raise funds to bring Samantha home, but it is also a message.  If you want to help spread this message, but $15 is more than you can afford, we will gladly and happily accept $5 (our cost) so that you can bring awareness to the plight of children in need of families everywhere!  Paypal is hudsonhome@bellsouth.net.  Please include any shipping address or instructions.  Sizes Youth Small, Medium, & Large.  Adult Small through XXXL.

NOTE:  "Jesus Hears the Orphan" is not available in youth XS.



 

Christmas Lights Scavenger Hunt

Saturday, December 13th, meet at Macedonia Baptist Church in Owensboro, Kentucky at 4:30 p.m.

Teams should consist of two to three adults, and children are more than welcome! (Just make sure your team fits in one car.)  Partner up with a buddy and bring a pen, a car, a camera or phone to take pictures, and an adoption donation (suggested $10/team). You'll have a list of Christmas lights to find and photograph, and race back to the finish line to win - while obeying traffic laws, of course!! Prize for first place! Email us with any questions. 

 

UPDATE:  Three amazing teams had a blast in the hunt!  Thank you Casey Crew, Basham Bunch, and Fuqua Family!

Pay With Love

Something we've been working on since 2012. Besides the fun memories, there is an important message at about 2:48. If the storyline doesn't make sense, read the full description under the video.  :)
http://youtu.be/N4SW5CRrWHQ

Here We GROW Again!

Details.  Everyone wants details about our decision to adopt again.  The problem is I cannot fully recollect how we arrived where we are today!  :)

I remember the beginnings of the surreal conversations initiated by Jon about adopting again.  So odd.  Those talks were completely unexpected.  Neither of us could have fathomed going down this path again, yet amazingly, we both just knew.

Still weary from the last fundraising/paperwork/red tape/emotionally-up-and-down process, there was definitely shock on our part.  But from the beginning of our prayers and thoughts about starting again, there was no doubt this was God's plan.

I vaguely recall computer research and phone calls, determining if we can even qualify this time.  (That is an ongoing prayer request, because we are asking for an exception to the income requirement.)

What I do remember is the moment Jon showed me the faces of two precious sisters in Taiwan.  Two sisters whose faces still bring tears to my eyes and tug at our hearts.  Ultimately, we were not approved to adopt them due to the number of children we already have.  So the roller coaster ride of emotions that are inevitable in adoption started immediately.  Despite our brokenness and disappointment in the decision regarding the sisters, we have to trust God has a plan for those girls, and someone is going to respond to His call and bring them home.  *Someone with less than 3 children at home.  You can read more at the bottom of this post.

That hits the main points of the past months.  After continued prayer and discussion, we are moving to adopt again through China's special needs program for a daughter or daughters somewhere in the age range of 6 to 9.  As we did with each previous adoption, we explored all the options available, including the foster care system and other countries.  Only God knows the exact reasoning, but He has placed a burden on our hearts for children in orphanages. 

This whole thing is crazy . . . yet it isn't.  The daunting task of paperwork and fundraising make me want to puke.  Seriously.  It's scary in a hundred different ways, but we're okay with that.  Here we grow again!!


*The orphanage assigned to find their family prefers adoptive families with no more than 3 children at home.  They claim they will allow exceptions in the case of older children or sibling adoptions, and these girls are both at almost 8 and 9 years old.  A few large families before us had been turned down, but we did not let that waiver our commitment.  There was a great flurry of effort on our part to adopt these girls.  It took a while, but we found an agency who worked with us to implore the Taiwanese orphanage to allow our family an exception. At the point where at least three families before us were turned down, we kept fighting.  Long story short, the orphanage said "no".  This from the orphanage who has these girls in two separate foster homes, one with 8 total people living in the home and the other with 7.  This from the orphanage who sent these girls for a 2-week visit to America through a hosting program to advocate for their adoption, and placed them with a family larger than our own.  The host family has at least three children/grandchildren who are almost the same ages as three of ours, and the girls THRIVED!!  Please pray for these sweethearts.  If you would like information on the beautiful Taiwanese sisters who need their forever family, PLEASE contact me!! 

My Humble Opinion on Fundraising for Adoption

You have to be rich to adopt.
 
During our first adoption process, that is the firm opinion I formed.  Down in the trenches, working to raise thousands of dollars, I would look at families who had adopted more than once and I just could not figure it out.  They had to be rich.
 
Fast-forward to the present, where we have added a second and third child to our family through adoption.  I now realize the error of my early thoughts.  Yes, adoption is expensive whether you pursue the domestic or international route.  No, you do not have to be rich.  Our family is living proof that finances are just an excuse.
 
Our Bible has commanded us to care for orphans.  For those who are eligible to adopt, the financial requirement can be astounding.  I assume that most families do not have that amount of money sitting around.  While I am a HUGE proponent of saving for the things you need/want, adoption is different.  When you make the decision to follow God's call to adopt, there is no time to waste. 
 

Millions of children sit and wait. 

 

Do we let them sit on, growing older and therefore considered less "adoptable" while we try to save for the process?  No!  We jump to action, humbling ourselves to admit we need help, and allowing others in our lives and communities to participate in the calling to care for the fatherless.  After all, not everyone can qualify to adopt with all the requirements for age/medical history/marital life/etc.  If you are ineligible to adopt, should you sit idly by and ignore the orphan crisis?  No!  You find opportunities to help families with the ridiculous costs for the most un-ridiculous of events - giving a child the family they deserve!

 

Some go so far to say that if you were pregnant, you wouldn't be going around asking for money to help with your impending delivery expenses.  No you wouldn't, but having a baby (with or without insurance), and adopting without any support are two entirely different things.  If you are about to give birth and go to a hospital, they won't demand all the money BEFORE you can have the baby.  As you check into the ER, the receptionist will not say, "Either pay up front or hold that baby in!"  LOL!  Once the baby is born, there is no problem taking the baby home, even if you have not cleared your account.  And payments can be arranged! 

 

In adoption, you have to pay the fees as you go.  If you do not have the funds, you either wait until you do (causing additional fees down the road if some of your documents go beyond time restrictions), or if you have been matched, risk losing your child!  Can you imagine giving birth in the hospital and preparing to leave with your bundle of joy, only to find that if you cannot pay your hospital bill in its entirety they will take the child from you until someone else comes along to pay the expenses!?!!

 

As an adoptive family, where are you left if you do not have thousands sitting in the bank? 

  1) Grant applications.  The one drawback to those is the uncertainty.  Many families apply, and funds are limited. 

  2) Jobs.  As we brainstormed possibilities to finance our recent adoptions, we contemplated putting our children in public school and finding a full-time job for me.  Besides denying a calling in my life (homeschooling), it was a pretty fruitless idea.  Even with my Bachelor's Degree, the likelihood of finding a position, paying gas and childcare expenses, and being able to earn what we needed for the adoption was slim.  I was, however, able to take on three part-time jobs devoted entirely to adoption expenses.

  3) Sell stuff.  When you are desperately trying to bring a new little life home, you find so much of what used to be important is no longer desired. 

  4) Loans.  There are interest-free and low-interest loans available for adoption. 

  5) Adoption Tax Credit.  I used to believe families should take the tax credit into consideration when raising funds, basically subtracting it from their total estimated expenses.  As the tax credit is now administered, however, that is a risky gamble for families to take.  It's based upon your tax liability.  In our case, our income for the year is so low that the taxes we owe are very minimal.  We will not be able to receive the full amount of the adoption tax credit.  Thankfully it can reduce your tax liability over a period of 6 years, so our hope is that it will be enough to pay back our two adoption loans.

  6) Fundraise.  Find services or products you can offer/make.  Utilize fundraisers at local businesses and restaurants.  This is an opportunity to engage others, giving them a chance to do something, too!  God is right there with you, calling others to help in specific ways.  Ask for the help you need.  Relinquish the "control" you try to have over the situation.  It's hard, it can be embarrassing, and boy is it humbling.  It shouts to the world that you, by yourself, are unable to accomplish this task the Lord has given you.  It takes any glory and puts it in its proper place - at the feet of our God who deserves it all. 
 

Two points of advice I have when fundraising.  First, don't rely on human beings.  You definitely set yourself up for disappointment if you rely on certain people to be supportive of your efforts.  Even if you have been supportive to their cause in the past, it does not mean they will be there for you.  Again, this is God's plan, not yours, and He will provide through those who are part of it.  Second, stop worrying.  If you are feeling like everyone cringes at the thought of another fundraiser from you and your family, take heart and realize others have more compassion than you may give them credit.  Friends and family know that no one expects them to participate in every single fundraiser.  Trust me, you learn to trust God more than ever through this refining process.  And truly if someone is annoyed by your fundraising efforts, I suggest it's likely God is working something in their lives.  Just let them un-follow your facebook newsfeed, and pray for them. :) 

 

For what it's worth, that's my opinion!

 
 
* I realize the majority of friends and families are comfortable and supportive of efforts in the adoption process.  I started this entry as my sister-in-law came across yet another discouraging blog refuting fundraising.  There are an abundance of blogs with negative opinions regarding fundraising for adoption, so I wanted to put another source of encouragement out there for families in the adoption process who have to fundraise.  There is compassion for you in this journey.  At the end of the day, each family has different life circumstances over which to pray and decide what the right path is for them.  Ignore the critics as best you can, and trust in Gods plan!

It Is Finished!

Puzzle Front

   Finally it is finished!  Our beautiful puzzle showing the names and organizations that answered the call to help the orphan . . . or in this case, orphans.  It is such a beautiful and precious reminder of the family, friends, strangers, and community who united for Oliver and Kalli, and the whole Hudson Herd.  :)  Orphans no more, these two little ones are blessing our family immeasurably.  It has not been perfect or easy - nor did we expect it to be - but God is sustaining us and we are thankful for where we are today.  I will never cease to be amazed at how He stretches and grows us to accomplish what we could never do alone.  I never imagined being a parent of five children, now I cannot imagine a second of life without those five faces.

   Obviously, being a wife, momma of five, and homeschool teacher of four is keeping me b-u-s-y.  My blogging has dwindled to absolutely nothing.  While I realize it is not the most important activity in my life, I do want to write from time-to-time as an encouragement to other Christians/wives/mothers, to those considering adoption, to adoptive families, and as a witness for Christ.

   I wanted a post that gave a summation of our adoption costs, and how God miraculously brought the financial requirement together.  Get your calculator if you want your eyes to bulge!  Unfortunately, the process is ridiculously expensive whether international or domestic, but THESE LITTLE LIVES ARE WORTH IT!  And when you see how He can bring all the pieces together to bring one of His children home, it's so obvious - "Yep, God did THAT!"




Puzzle Back

PERSONAL:
Savings, Loans, and Extra Part-time Jobs - $11,855

GRANTS:
$18,300

FUNDRAISING & DONATIONS:
Puzzle - $3525 (705 Pieces!!)
Tshirts - $915
Origami Owl Fundraiser Party - $150
Yard Sale - $1500
McDonalds - $421
Tumbleweed - $46
Envelope Fundraiser - $4782
Individual Donations - $3188
7,000 Mile Surprise - $1000
Reece's Rainbow Donations - $340
Christmas Shopping Fundraiser - $590
Photo Fundraiser - $410
Pecan Fundraiser - $100
Sucker Sales - $57
Whitney's Amazing Adoption Auction - $1900

LifeSong: Prepare for the Adoption Journey

Here is a link to a very brief starting point for those considering adoption:
http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/blog/2014/06/adoption-3-ways-to-prepare-for-the-journey/

Honeymoon at Home

There's no place like home.

Poignant words.  It is beyond good to be back home after 18 days away.  Saturday morning in China began twenty-six hours in airports or on airplanes, going through Customs at least twice, Immigration at least twice, and picking up our checked luggage and re-checking it twice.  Exhausting, but by the grace of God, manageable.  Our longest flight was 12.5 hours, and we could not have hoped it would go as well as it did!  Kalli played with her seatbelt for at least an hour, and then proceeded to slowly and methodically rip every page out of a magazine for another hour!  Oliver sat or slept in his seat the majority of the time, which is a miracle with his energy, and did not have a single temper tantrum on the planes.  Thank you God!

We arrived at midnight and stayed awake until 2 a.m. Sunday!  Who gave my children Miracle Grow while we were gone?!  Everyone was full of excitement and curiosity as introductions of new siblings were made and a quick home tour was conducted.  Oliver hugged everyone!  He excitedly searched out his brother "Feddy", whom he had asked for every single time we were able to Skype from China.  Since, he has forgotten his interest in his brother and been stuck-like-glue to Myley! 
Note to Adoptive Families:  Oliver loved seeing his photos up in our house as if he had always been there.  Do this!

Kalli was shy and reserved at first, but has quickly found the delight in having so many playmates who want to give her their full attention.  Freddy received the great honor of being the first in our family to receive a kiss from her.  An unprompted one, I might add.  Jon received his first Kalli kisses yesterday, Grace did today, and Momma still waits . . .

But that's okay.  Most everything aside from sleep is going smoothly.  Granted we are in the space known as the "honeymoon phase" in the adoption world.  Enamored and in awe of their new brothers and sisters, no one is squabbling.  Yet.  I'm an optimist at heart, but not naïve enough to think this peaceful co-existence will last forever, lol!  I do believe it gives them a good start at bonding.  They are super cuteness together!  Jon snapped this photo today of our little stair steps - 2, 3, 4, 5, and 9.  We love that they are bundled up in unique packages with distinctly different personalities!  God has given them all gifts and traits that we love and treasure, and it's such a blessing to see how He cultivates them as they grow.

When we arrived home, we were pleasantly surprised to find our pantry stocked with goods, overflowing onto our countertops!!  Our church family and Sunday School class, Couples for Christ, not only arranged meals to be brought to our house for the next two weeks, but also contributed to the pantry packing.  Our family and friends were part of that HUGE blessing, too!  No worries about going to the grocery or what to fix to eat.  Seriously, I don't think I could make it through the grocery store right now.  Thank you dear, kind, and thoughtful family and friends for knowing how much we would need this expression of God's love through YOU!!  Alright, I'm crying . . . better move on.  

Sleep struggles abound, and it seems to be getting worse.  Two to four hours of sleep in 24 hour periods = not good.  The times when I start to nod off, but am awakened every 15 to 20 minutes, seem like torture.  When you are in the middle of exhaustion piling up for days and are tempted with sleep, then denied it repeatedly, the feeling is wretched.  I am pretty sure they use that as a torture tactic on prisoners of war.  It's gotten to the point where I just cry out of total exhaustion, and I feel like I'm going to start puking at some point and not be able to stop.  Seems so wimpy and weak to admit when I see it typed, but being in the middle of these moments and actually experiencing them, well, the feelings are what they are.  I know many people go through similar ordeals when a new baby is born, or even working night shifts, and just dealing with insomnia.  I have been wearing the same shirt for two days, cannot remember if I brushed my teeth yesterday, and quite frankly, I could care less.  I just want sleep!! 

From infancy to 18 years, I lived in the same house and had the same bedroom.  Every now and then, I wake up thinking I am in my childhood room.  As my mind clears through the fog of confusion, realizing which direction is which and where I am, it is so disorienting.  I wonder if that is how little Kalli is feeling.  After the first night home, she wakes up often during the night, wimpering or wailing in her half-asleep, half-awake state.  I wonder what her little mind thinks of all these changes.  I wonder how her little heart deals with all the fear and uncertainty.  All we can do is pray God will give her a sense of security, and inner peace that her world is finally as it should be. 

Oliver actually seems unphased, sleeping soundly through the night and naps.  He is indiscriminately friendly, meaning he has never met a stranger!  It's something we actually have to be cautious about, because it is harder to closely bond with someone who can be happy with anyone.  We noticed with our guides in China, and when people stop by here at home, he almost always wants to leave with them.  We are working diligently to teach him that he stays with Mommy and Daddy now, because we are a family.  I hope it's not too much to ask for continued prayers for our newly formed family.

That's the recap.  Actually, I was only able to write this because of the sleep deprivation, so at least I got something accomplished during this "honeymoon"!

The Past Two Days

Calling the last two days emotionally charged would be like saying baby pandas are kinda cute - it would be an understatement.  :)

Wednesday, we set out to tour Kalli's orphanage and view her finding spot. (Oliver's original orphanage doesn't currently allow families to visit.) Upon entering, we were allowed to review her complete record, which contained more details than we had previously been given. Our guide read it to us since it was written in Chinese. Hearing her story read aloud brought stinging tears to my eyes. I desperately swallowed the growing lump in my throat to try and maintain composure.

The morning continued in its draining fashion as Kalli saw one of her primary caretakers.  Up to this point, anyone who reached out to hold her was quickly rejected.  But this special person in her life scooped her out of my arms before I could blink.  When it was time to go, I reached for my baby with hope, but confusion and misunderstanding had already set in.  Her crying ensued, much like a little lambs, intermingled with wrenching screams, heart-breaking at the least to hear the deep pain she felt.  The nanny seemed to want to take her back to offer comfort, but Jon and I made eye contact and a silent agreement that that would not be best.  We turned to leave, sort of officially closing this chapter of her life.

While it's difficult to console someone in a language they do not speak, she calmed down in about 30 minutes.

Later in the day, we visited the exact spot where she was found. At first, all I could manage was to briefly glance around, averting my eyes and heart from speculating about the unknown details. It pains me immensely to know my children will have questions . . . with no answers. I am so sorry, sweethearts. All we can focus on is what we do know - you were found! God did not allow this world's sin and failures to push you out, or allow you to be forgotten or disregarded. He brought you from the ashes, He called upon His children to come for you, and somehow, managed to move our stubborn hearts to action.

Blugh.  No actual words to articulate the day, just ugly noises derived from raw emotion.

Enter Thursday.  Our appointment at the U.S. Consulate.  We were told no photos or video, advised to be serious and get the business done.  We suppose the energy and rigidness of that type of environment was too much for Oliver, because he melted down instantaneously and continually.  The entire 1.5 or 2 hours we were there with no snacks or drinks.  Normally, you aren't there that long, but for a fun twist, the computers went down at the precise instant we were taking the final step!

Parental instinct, no, common sense, led us to forego any sightseeing after the trying morning, so we went back to our hotel.  That evening, we experienced our first 40 minute tantrum.  Whew!

I am reminded often through this journey that emotional turmoil, sleep deprivation, and physical exhaustion all deeply contribute to a worn spirit.  Not an easy road, but we are not complaining.  I have mentioned the book Orphanology before, and probably this particular thought from its pages:

"Did Jesus walk an easy path on this earth?  

Look at what He endured to adopt us into the family of God."

Even if every day were like the past two, we would take it.  DEFINITELY could not do it without the strength and comfort of our heavenly Father, and the earthly support from our astoundingly awesome family, church family, friends, and even a few strangers along the way.

Update

Wow!! God is so good! We have both our new family members! While there is lots of documentation to finish and 10 more days here, it is such a gift to now have Oliver and Kalli in our arms.

Kalli had a very difficult time at first. She cried and screamed for about 30 mins, and has been silent since. Literally no sounds have come out. She is obviously in shock. But she does give us eye contact and touches our hands. She studies our faces intently, but with a bit of a glaze over her eyes. Oliver got the first slight grin out of her last night! He is an AWESOME big brother. He was even hand feeding her last night! Sometimes he speaks to her in Mandarin, which seems to be comforting to her. (I don't know how to make a heart symbol with this tablet, but lots would be inserted here!)

Oliver keeps saying "I so happy!" And "lets go to your home in America." He is doing so well! He is sweet, intelligent, strong-willed and strong in strength. He has, as most 4 yr olds would, already started testing his boundaries with us, but we feel like it actually helps us bond!! He has gone to timeout a few times for hitting, where we sit with him and assure him we love him and don't want him to get in trbl. After 4 mins, we get up, he calms down and rubs his little eyes, says he is sorry, and we give big hugs and kisses. He is very quickly discovering Mommy and Daddy can be trusted to do what we say we will, and that we love him even when he is naughty! He is a beautiful ball of energy, light, and laughter!!!

Kalli is described by her orphanage caretakers as strong-willed and shy.  She seems so gentle.  She follows me around everywhere in the room when she is not in the carrier!! She is a delicate and chunky little sweetheart with dimples in each cheek. We cannot wait to see her smile light up the room, but expect that will take many days.

We also met our niece Sarah, who makes me tear up at the thought of her.  She is an endearing, perfect little girl. Touch is her primary form of communication, so you feel so connected with her very quickly. It is almost as if she lives in her own little world (as she is deaf and has low vision), but as soon as you scoop her up, she pulls you into that world. One of her caregivers says it's like your world slows down - thats perfect! Like it's just you and her. Jon and I kept saying how perfect my sis-in-law and brother and nephews are for her. They truly are her family, and their loving ways are just like hers! God put this beautiful picture together, that is 7000 miles apart!

Please forgive us if you have emailed or messaged and haven't gotten a response.  We have had an incredibly tight schedule, finally getting over jetlag, and internet access and our tablet seem to be unreliable. Emails that we delete reappear days later, and emails appear that weren't previously there. :)

Our precious trio at home are doing well. The girls were very upset the morning we left, but Myley now assures us "shes fine!" Thank you for your prayers and support. We feel them, and have felt God's constant presence and comfort. Sorry this is so long! I likely won't be able to update again except with pictures, so I laid it all out here at 4 am while I could!

Whirlwind Connection

Day 6 of our journey to our children, and if you asked me to describe the experience in one word . . . well, I couldn't.  One word just doesn't suffice.  Triumphant, tragic, challenging, silly, amazing, awkward, exciting, uncomfortable, funny, happy, heartbreaking, exhausting, exhilarating.  Specifically, a whirlwind of emotion!

We have had much difficulty with facebook, blogging, and skyping  We think we have the skyping figured out, and it is such a relief to see the faces of familly at home.

Our schedule has also been go-go-go, with very little time to blog or message anyway!  This may be the only update until we return home, but hopefully I'll be able to manage at least one more.

There is so much to share!!  Today, Oliver is in our arms FOREVER!!!  He is more amazing than we even realized.  He is filling our day with laughter and snuggles.  We taught him how to give an eskimo kiss (nose kiss), and it's already become "our thing".  He is full of light, life, and cuddles.  We are dumbfounded at how wonderful he is.  So spirited and independent, but a good boy who listens and seems already to trust us.  We have even managed to bond through our first temper tantrum!  :)  Bethel did an AMAZING job preparing him for this transition in his life.  We thank God for their work.

Wait until you see the pictures!  The moments frozen in time are spectacular.  I just cannot get things to cooperate to post any of them.

You know how there is always something special when you are holding your own child?  You can hold someone else's child and love them, and see their beauty and precious life.  But when you are holding your own, it just feels . . . more comfortable maybe?  Or probably you are sensing your bond.  As I lay here with him snuggled to my chest, watching his head move ever-so-slightly with each beat of my heart, he feels like mine.  Already!!

One Year Ago . . .

One year ago (May 3, 2013) we began the adoption process. 

Now we are Ch*n@ - bound!!!  How are we feeling? 

Excited!!!!

A little . . . scared,

. . . and anxious.

Also sad . . . 

. . .but happy!!

Don't we all go through a swirl of emotion when we can see change coming and know our lives will forever be different?!

Joy is overflowing knowing we'll soon be meeting our son and our daughter!  For so long, we have wondered about their lives.  Stared at their innocent faces in photos.  Prayed for them.  Dreamt of them.  Longed to be together.

We are a bit paralyzed by sadness as we leave our three amazing children at home for eighteen days.  Folks who have taken this journey before us without Skype are my heroes!  Two things helping me cope with the difficulty of being away from my beloved Grace, my compassionate MJ, and my dynamic Fredster are:  1 - the ability to Skype, and 2 - constant, constant prayer.

May we humbly ask now that you join us in prayer on the days about to unfold?

- Safety and comfort for the three children who are staying at home (ages 9, 5, and 3).  Two of them are starting to have a bit of a difficult time thinking about the time we’ll be apart.  Please pray for God to calm and comfort their little hearts, and keep them safe and healthy while we are away.

- Safety and comfort for Jon and I.  We have never been away from any of our children longer than a week.  We need God’s strength to be without them.  Please pray that our travels are safe and healthy as well.

- Comfort and supernatural understanding for our two new little ones (Oliver 4, Kalli 2).  They are about to be pulled from the only life they have ever known.  Everything will change – from sights and sounds, to smells and touches.  Different language, different environment, different-looking people.  They are accustomed to group life, not family life, and we just pray God works in their hearts and minds to give them an understanding and lack of fear that could only come from him.

- Family and friends at home watching over our kiddos.

- Transition as our family is newly formed.  We pray our newest children are able to deal with their past loss and trauma and find healing in our home, and that our resident children are full of grace and patience as we teach Oliver and Kalli all about family!

 

- God’s blessings upon all the people He has called to help us who responded to His call to care for orphans!!

Did You Know . . . Language Development is Complex? (Series, 2 of ___ )

Our first "Did You Know?" post touched on the fact that our adoptive children will be immersed in a world speaking an entirely different language.  That can be frightening.  It can also be difficult, and have widespread educational impact.

Here is an excerpt from the American Speech Language Hearing Association Division 14 Newsletter -

"The loss of the first language before the new language develops leaves the internationally adopted child in a linguistic and educational limbo.  Unlike the bilingual child who has a strong first language to fall back on, the internationally adopted child suddenly has no communicative language until English develops.  This is a significant issue for older adopted children who need to begin school right away.  Because they are not proficient in English, cognitive and linguistic development is often negatively affected.  Consider this scenario:

 

The typical 6-year-old understands over 20,000 English words.  A 5-year-old adopted from another country would need to learn an average of 54 new words every day in order to fully catch up in language comprehension abilities by age 6.  However, while this child has been playing catch-up, his 6-year-old friends have also added an average of 5,000 words to their vocabulary.  In summary, expecting older children to develop proficient English language skills within one or two years of adoption is unrealistic.  Learning a new language to proficiency takes years."

More info can be found at http://pages.towson.edu/sglennen/index.htm.

Just One

Literally I am sitting in shock as I type this, reflecting on the magnificence of God's provision through just one person.

Last year, we met friends Whitney and Tanner Brown when they began coming to Macedonia Baptist Church.  They are a stunning couple, inside and out, and we were just getting to know them when they felt God's calling to help plant a church.  Through facebook, Whitney and I kept in touch and our friendship has grown. 

Incredibly supportive of our adoptions and fundraisers from the beginning, the Brown's were roused to find an additional opportunity to give.  Whitney has a God-given gift for recognizing others needs and springing into action!  Little did we know, these are qualities that prevail in her close family and friends.

Whitney shared with me her love of inspirational jewelry from a business called The Adopt Shoppe, owned by a woman who desires to help families in the adoption process.  (https://www.etsy.com/shop/theadoptshoppe)  She makes and sells beautiful necklaces and bracelets, then donates profits to adopting families.  Each piece has a beautiful message, proclaiming faith or extolling praises to God.  Her necklaces on etsy literally sell out within minutes!  Seriously, I have tried to purchase them and they disappear from the page before my out-in-the-country-DSL can load my cart!!  Whitney sent me one as a gift that I truly treasure.  She had some in her collection that stirred an idea.  She would host an auction for four-Adopt Shoppe necklaces and give the funds raised to our family adoption expenses!!

Her one-day Instagram auction also received two donations from Bombshell Salon, Spa, and Boutique in Bremen, owned and operated by her cousin Carlee.  True to her giving heart, Whitney also added a massage gift certificate as she is a massage therapist!

The supporters of the auction were largely Whitney's family and friends.  Man, this is a group of GIVING hearts!  I joked that God was using Muhlenberg County folks to teach us about true giving!  In a span of 24 hours, Whitney decided to add TWO more massage gift certificates due to the demand, and raised (drumroll please) . . .

  $1900!!!

ON FOUR NECKLACES, A PEDICURE GIFT CERTIFICATE, THREE MASSAGE GIFT CERTIFICATES, AND A DECORATIVE PLATTER!! 

Do you realize how virtually impossible that is?!  But wait . . .

 

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!  Luke 1:37

Woo-hoo!!  None of these generous folks were forced to participate or begged to bid.  I know they don't want recognition, but it gives us a small chance to display our gratitude, so I am putting their names here:

Whitney & Tanner Brown

Melinda Baize

Jordan & Keila Baize
Debbie Knight

Carlee Knight

Melonie Anderson

Heather Garrett

 

God has seen your actions and generosity, and we pray He blesses you abundantly! 

You are a living example of caring for orphans, and Whitney, you are a shining model

of the difference one person can make!!  THANK YOU!

 

 

To the Reader:  This is just one of many, many miracles we have seen throughout our adoption process.  Please read more of our stories on this blog, and be inspired to help others!

Taking Action!

An amazing friend has went out of her way to support our adoption!  She is hosting an auction with beautiful necklaces from The Adopt Shoppe.  These items are highly sought after - they sell out within minutes of being posted in The Adopt Shoppe etsy shop.  Don't miss it!  :)
http://mrsbrownandco.blogspot.com/2014/04/guest-post-leap-of-faith-adopt-shoppe.html?m=1

Thank you, Whitney, for looking for ways to help our family!!  You are a shining example of God's calling to take care of orphans, and He has blessed us incredibly with your friendship.  YOU ROCK!  :)

Happy!

Click on this link to see the coolest video ever!  The beautiful little white-haired one is ours!  And at about 3:26, the little girl on the right is our niece!!! 
Happy Bethel!

Did You Know . . . Adoption Can Be Traumatic? (Series, 1 of _ )

Did you know . . . adoption can be grievous to a child?

For the most part, adoption is viewed as a beautiful event.  It is definitely amazing, but we look at it from the perspective of the adoptive family.  When you consider adoption from the perspective of the child, at least initially, it can actually be a traumatic event.

From the perspective of a child who has lived their entire life in an institution, they don't conceive any other reality.  In their world, things are as they should be.  The Bible indicates that God designed us to have love and companionship in our lives, and we all have an innate desire to be part of a unit - a family.  But for the 2-year-old in an orphanage, what is a family?  Simply put, it is the children living with them (who may come and go), and typically very few caretakers in an understaffed environment.  Little contact is made outside of the orphanage walls.  This is not what God intended for His precious creation, but it is all the children know.

Imagine you have spent your entire life in one structure.  Rarely, if ever, have you gone anywhere outside this home.  One day, strangers come and remove you from the only place you have ever known.  While these strangers appear kind, they are kidnapping you from your "family".  You would be scared and uncertain.  It would rock your existence!  Things would be further complicated when these strangers expose you to over-stimulating environments. 

A myriad of vibrant colors and buildings. 

Sweet aromas.  Stinky smells.  Unfamiliar scents engulf you.

More people than you knew existed walk, run, ride bikes, fly by in cars. 

Loud sounds.  Soft noises.  Coming from all directions. 

So many new things converging at once! 

Next, they take you on a giant airplane, the likes of which you have never seen, much less ridden inside.  You are there for hours.  The people tell you they are taking you to your new home.  When you exit the plane, the people look very different from you.  They are speaking another language.  You are driven to a house that seems warm and inviting, but still distinctly new and unnerving.  More and more strangers come to see you and want to give you hugs, kisses, and more toys than you have ever played with.  What is going on?

What about when the new family suddenly drops you off at another location and leaves you, such as a daycare or nursery?  You wouldn't know if they were going to return or leave you!

Can you even fathom trying to make sense of this situation?  Especially as a child? 

When many adoptive families arrive home with their new child, they often spend several weeks in isolation of sorts.  Trying to limit all the "new" and help their kiddo adjust.  One of the specific things we will likely do is help our children transition to being in the nursery at church.  Resources suggest spending several weeks in the nursery with your child, then practicing leaving for short periods of time, gradually increasing your absence to help the child understand you always come back.

The concepts of "forever family" are likely impossible for a small child to understand.  As parents, we are going to implement as many suggestions as are feasible to support Oliver and Kalli's transition into their new lives.  There will be times when you may think we're over-protective or just plain weird, but hopefully viewing a glimpse from their tiny eyes will change your mindset. 

Our sweet trio already at home will need to adjust as well.  Prayer is IMPERATIVE in supporting both our new children and our resident children deal with the unfamiliar.  We are praying God gives them a supernatural understanding and sense that our freshly-formed family is exactly the way it is supposed to be.  We pray for peace and joy to overflow in their little hearts.

*In our quest to advocate for orphans, we thought it would be helpful to share some of the realities of adoption.  This is the first of our "Did You Know" series to highlight aspects of the process that many people have never before considered.  One of the prerequisites of adopting, at least in our experience, was adoption education.  China has a requirement of 12 hours of training and study, and our agency additionally specifies each parent read three books and complete book reports.  Incredibly eye-opening to say the least, even the second time around.  We are certainly not experts, just sharing some poignant points we have discovered.

The Only Piece Missing Is You

News arrived yesterday that one of our final three grant applications was turned down.  There were 15 altogether that we applied for, as well as two interest-free loans.  Although we thought our fundraising was complete, we have $11,000 remaining, so we thought we would try one last option.  Will you please be a piece of this puzzle?

 

Literally, this is a Puzzle Fundraiser! 
It is as simple as sponsoring a puzzle piece for $5! 

This is the beautiful 1000 piece custom puzzle that is being made:

Each of the 1,000 pieces can be sponsored for $5. For example, a $5 donation sponsors 1 piece, a $20 donation sponsors 4 puzzle pieces, and a $50 donation sponsors 10 puzzle pieces. When you donate, your name will be written on the back of each piece you have sponsored. This puzzle will then be displayed in our home with double-sided glass so that we can always see who helped bring our kiddos home. 

You can donate through Paypal simply by going into your account and sending money as a gift to family/friends to hudsonhome@bellsouth.net.  If it's withdrawn from your checking account, neither you nor we will pay a fee.  You could also give it to us in person or send a check payable to one of us to:  750 Nuckols OBC Rd, Calhoun, Ky 42327.

Grace has decided to buy the very first puzzle piece. 
Amazing big sister, she has already made cards and bookmarks along the way to help us raise money.  :)

Originally we thought the adoption tax credit would be a huge help in offsetting our expenses.  Unfortunately, with Jon's job change and income loss, and the tax credit being changed, we will likely only be able to take advantage of enough of the credit to pay back ONE of our loans. 

Yuck.

So you see, we have much praying to do, and one final fundraiser.  The only piece missing is you!


UPDATED 5/12/14
Amazingly, 705 pieces have been sponsored!!  Family, friends, and strangers have poured generous support into our family, raising $3525!!!!

 

Where God Guides, He Provides

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:19

Reading this verse reminds us that where God guides, He provides.  When He has led you to do something that brings glory and honor to Him, He is going to see you through and equip you with what you need.  "Needs" and "wants" are regularly confused in our society.  Sometimes we think God is not providing when He should be.  Chances are, it probably is not a true need or it's going to give glory to the wrong person.

I love the song by Lindsay McCaul called "Take My Hand".  When reflecting on Peter's journey in the book of Matthew where he stepped out to walk on water and meet Jesus amongst the waves (Matthew 14:22-33), she wrote this song.  It's about the moments God calls us to specific action, and we start on our pursuit with bravery and strength.  But as soon as we realize how inadequate we are, that a situation is out of our control, or that we cannot orchestrate any of the events to achieve our goal, we begin sinking.  Part of the lyrics say:

                                        You're telling me that faith is all I need,
                                        but FEAR is all that I can find in me.
                                        Didn't you know that I'd be scared?
                                        Couldn't you see I was unprepared?
                                        I'm not asking for reasons you hold, or the safety of land,
                                        I just need you to take my hand.

We want to praise our heavenly Father for holding our hands down this adoption path.  When tremendous adversity has materialized and we have found only fear in ourselves, He has made His presence known.  A month after beginning our process, Jon had to change jobs for medical reasons and our income was cut in half.  Yet we have exactly enough to pay our bills.

A goal of $43,000 for adoption costs can be ignored momentarily, but once your savings is dramatically cut-off, the enormity of that figure is paralyzing.  But look where He has brought us!  We have earned/saved/fundraised or been given/granted/loaned almost $32,000!!!  We are experiencing exceptional generosity.  Family and friends have been crazy supportive, and it just keeps amplifying.  Jon has a family member who participated in one of our fundraisers, and now continues to send us a check every few weeks.  Anonymous donors have given another $109 on Oliver's Reece's Rainbow account. The two part-time jobs I have taken on have contributed an additional $1250, and I was also able to have an Origami Owl fundraiser for another organization along the way!

A home built to accommodate a family of four has blossomed to comfortably hold seven without any remodeling or construction.  The extra beds we have needed have been built by my oh-so-talented hubby!  A new friend gave us a car seat for Kalli that is in excellent condition, and we were able to use coupons and discounts to get a sweet deal on a car seat for Oliver.  Two girlfriends from church gave us goodies to keep Kalli clothed all summer long.

Responding to God's calling does not mean the trek will be easy, but we are especially grateful to serve a God who loves us as His children.  He holds our hands, guides us, is remarkably patient, and never stops giving us second chances.  I'm going to close with the words from another song, this one by Nichole Nordeman:

What kind of love,

would take your shame

and spill His blood

for you,

and save us by His wounds.

 

Thank you heavenly Father for your love, guidance, and provision!

Pray for May

During the summer months, travel costs to China skyrocket, blowing our travel budget to bits.
 
Pray for May.
 
At this point in our "paper pregnancy", May would be the earliest we would travel.  It is so hard to bear even missing one more day of our children's lives.  Kalli just turned two, and Oliver turns four next week.  If the absolute best scenario for our paperwork being processed gets us to China in May at the soonest, then that is what we are praying for. 

Pray for May.
 
I stated at the very beginning this blog had a couple purposes.  Encouraging others to adopt is primary, but we also hoped to educate those unfamiliar with the adoption process.  We wanted to give insight and updates on this bumpy road. 
 
This is our reality right now - we have been really struggling with the wait for several weeks.  Once all our paperwork was notarized and authenticated and mailed to China, the average wait is 60 to 70 days for something called the "Letter of Seeking Confirmation" or LOA.  We are at Day 93.  We do not appreciate the fact that we are above average.  Ha/ha  That was a joke.  :)
 
I'm not sure why it has gotten so difficult as of late; for whatever reason, it has.  Sunday we had a guest preacher.  He asked the congregation what kind of legacy we were leaving for our children:  a legacy of worry or a legacy of trusting God.  He might as well have been pointing his finger directly at me and said my name before the question.  Guillllltttttyy. 
 
 I made a decision - try to stop all this fretting and email stalking (looking for news from our caseworker).  Show my children already at home that I do trust God.  When my human nature absolutely cannot be suppressed and anxieties and fears kick in, I want them to see me turning to God.  Down on my knees.  Accepting that He is in control.  I want them to see me praising Him in those times when I'm weak, when things don't seem easy or fair.
 
That is where we are right now in this sometimes arduous experience.  We're leaning on him, praying for May!  Will you pray with us?  :)

Ummmm . . . WOW! That was Fast and Fantastical!

Did you read "Help Us Find Her Family"?  If not, that is totally okay, because as it turns out, there was only ONE family that needed to read it.  Wow!  I don't even know where to start to share the amazing events that have transpired.  Maybe you could tell by the title, but we're simply in shock by God's work.

Here's the 4-1-1:  beautiful little four-year-old girl, Violet, whom we sought to adopt at the same time as Oliver.  She was listed with a different adoption agency, and they would not share with our agency. 

Toddlers.  They haven't learned how to share.

Not sharing meant we could not bring Violet home.  :(

Heartbreak.  Temper tantrum.  And then peace.  We know who is in control, and He showed us His plan in the form of our precious little Kalli.  Yet our hearts still longed to find the family that was meant to bring Violet home.   

I typed out the post (linked above) telling about this amazing child.  She had a congenital heart condition that was surgically corrected, has low vision, and is deaf.  It was the beginning of our advocating for her.  Little did we know, it was also the end!!

Unbeknownst to us, God had been planting tiny seeds in the lives of another family.  Adoption had been something they had considered about a decade before, born out of their compassion for the millions of children forgotten and alone.  But back then, it wasn't His timing.  As of late, He had been moving them in great ways.  When I say moving them, I mean touching and moving their very souls.  Stirring something deep within them that went beyond a concern for the fatherless.  This family was already actively and whole-heartedly making a difference in the lives of orphans as they prayerfully and financially supported others in the adoption process.

This was a calling to DO EVEN MORE.  While they had no clue where it would culminate, they knew God had something in the works.

Then, the wife in this family saw my blog post.  She simply shared the link with her husband, saying nothing more than "take a look at this please".  Without even discussing it with one another, they both felt an unspoken connection.  They began asking questions, continued to pray, and God continued blessing them with little signs of confirmation. 

Picture it:  God knows the future, He knows what decision this family will make.  He's smiling the whole time as He patiently waits for them to realize where they are headed.  He knows His children will be living out the gospel in a new and wonderful way.  He smiles as He watches over His little Violet, knowing the time is approaching when she is fully treasured by HER family.

Then, they knew.  Violet was their child, waiting on the other side of the world.

Mind you, this family had not suddenly come across a large amount of extra cash, they did not have an extra room in their home, they did not have extensive experience caring for special needs children, they do not even know sign language!  They didn't say "yes" to God because they were completely prepared and fully adequate for the task.  They said "yes" because they love God and trust Him. 

Contrary to popular belief, God may give them more than they can handle.  But they know that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).  As a guest pastor pointed out this past Sunday, the verse does not say all easy things, all good things . . . it says in ALL things - good, bad, difficult, easy - God works.  He will work in these lives.
 
Please pray for this family.  The process has just begun for them, and I pray it moves swiftly so their sweet girl can be HOME!  Details, such as the financial aspect / travel / learning sign language, will all be arranged as the process goes along.  Pray for them and for God's provision in all these regards as they take this walk of faith.

Oh, and by the way, the family adopting her . . . well let's just clarify that Violet will be our niece!!!  Ummmmm . . .WOW!  How cool is that?  She has been given many "alias" names throughout the process, but I am going to officially start calling her by the name her parents, my brother and sister-in-law, have chosen.  Sarah.  Sarah means "princess" in Hebrew, and that is exactly what she is, and how she'll be treated amongst her three excited big brothers!

As for us, we cannot believe how God has brought this little girl into our lives.  We get to have Oliver, Kalli, AND SARAH join the family!  Pinch me, because it's just fantastical!!

Help Us Find Her Family

Deafness was not on our list of special needs that we were willing to accept.  Quite frankly, it scared us.  Funny how God can change your perspective on something so that it is no longer formidable.  Our objections to albinism were modified as God worked on our hearts to show us Oliver was our son, and He also worked a change in us when it came to potentially parenting a child who is deaf.

You may remember from the Struggle and Battle Post that there is a 4-year-old girl at the same orphanage as Oliver.  I'm going to call her "Violet".  If you did not manage to plow through that extensive post (I don't blame you!), here is an excerpt telling about her:

"We came across a 4-year-old girl who is also at Bethel with Oliver.  She had a heart condition that had been surgically corrected, cataracts that had been removed but still left her with low vision, and she is deaf.  While she was listed with another agency who had received inquiries about her, it was our understanding there was not a family currently looking at her file.  After researching the resources available to us for her care, we were ready to bring her home and determined to fight.  Our agency contacted the other agency, an advocate contacted them, and we contacted them.  No.  No.  No.  They were not willing to release her file to our agency until roughly March.  How is that in the best interest of this child?!  When did they forget to be passionate about her having a family???  Frustrating, heart-breaking, to say the least.  Our fight was fruitless."

Because of the technicality of her being listed with an agency other than our own, we were forced to move on.  Waiting for them to release her file in late March would have caused Oliver to wait longer than we were willing to make him wait.  Soon after this, our family found out we were to be blessed with the honor of having Kalli as our daughter!!  We are so grateful and thankful!!

There will forever be a place in our hearts for this little one.  It is dumbfounding how God brought us from being fearful of her condition, to being ready to bring her home.  Since we cannot, we have decided to advocate for this child with all our might.  Her family is out there - SOMEWHERE!  Could it be you?  Maybe parenting a deaf child seems frightening to you, but there are so many resources available to support you!  We were delighted to discover that once she moves to the USA, she may be a candidate for cochlear implants!  A cochlear implant is a small, complex electronic device that can help to provide a sense of sound to a person who is profoundly deaf.  An implant does not restore normal hearing, but it can give a deaf person a useful representation of sounds in the environment and help him or her to understand speech.  We watched a video of a child who is deaf receiving her first implant.  Witnessing that little child hear sounds for the first time made us weep!! 

"Violet" is developmentally behind because no one knew how to work with her for a long time.  She is currently receiving excellent care and therapies and making huge strides.  Her potential is enormous!

 

 

Here is a link to a website with more info on this sweetie pie:  Twenty Less Website

 

Bethel China is where "Violet" is currently living.  You can read about this fantastic organization by clicking on that link.  Her full medical file is available, as well as up-to-date and realistic information from Bethel with her fantastic progress in the last several months.  I have some mothers of deaf children who have shared their stories with me, and would gladly pass on their contact info to give you encouragement that you CAN parent a deaf child!!  Please contact us if you would like to know more.  Please share this with anyone you know who might be considering adopting.  Help us find her family!!