Babies in the Belly

Our home suddenly has an ignited interest in learning where babies come from.  Fun, fun, fun!  ;)  At ages 9, 4.5, and 3, we find ourselves in a bit of a jumbled stage regarding what knowledge is age-appropriate.  We do always seek to give our kiddos as much of the truth as we feel they can comprehend.  We also try to be very thoughtful in our responses, because our children came to us in different ways.  Freddy should never doubt how very much he was loved by his birthmother, or that he is right where he is supposed to be now, with his family.  In our discussions, I have carefully explained that Freddy did not grow in my belly, but that the woman who carried him made sure to find him a Mommy and Daddy who could care for him.  On Freddy's birthday, Myley had forgotten that fact.  She asked, "Did Freddy grow in your belly first, and then me?"  Before I could speak, Freddy replied, "No!  I grew in another woman's belly."  I sat in stunned silence for a moment.  I knew he had been listening to every conversation, but was not expecting him to retain that information and supply it at the applicable moment.  I finally answered with a response I had given in the days past - "That's right, Freddy.  And that woman loved you so much that she found a Mommy and a Daddy who could care for you."  Freddy matter-of-factly stated, "And I was a baby then."  I had to fight back the tears.

Sometimes you forget amidst the excitement of welcoming an adopted child that the entire process began with a loss.  With several losses in fact.  The birth family's loss, because contrary to popular belief, many birth families relinquish their rights with love in their hearts, making a decision they believe is in the absolute best interest of their child.  It's a very sacrificial love, to put someone else's needs entirely above your own.  That is certainly the case in the story of Freddy's birthmother.  There are parts of her story that we do not share with anyone, because when the time comes, Freddy needs to hear them from us and only us.  But his birthmother faced being ostracized and persecuted simply by carrying our son, and could have resorted to other means that might have made her life better and less complicated.  But she chose to think of him, the tiny baby growing inside of her.  She chose to sacrifice, giving him life and taking loss upon herself.

In Freddy's case, his foster family grieved his loss.  They cared for him over 7 months, and together were a family in every sense of the word.  They loved him as their own.  I'll never forget their youngest biological son and the tears that streamed from his beautiful brown eyes down his face on the day we were given custody.  Loss.

Then there is the child's loss.  Even as a baby, there is an innate sense of loss experienced.  It's a natural, God-given connection that is broken, and we do not believe for a second that a child does not "feel" the disconnect in some form or another.  We've talked with many adults who were adopted as children, and for many they may not comprehend it or even remember it, but it remains a part of their story.   

Then there is the adopting family's loss, for the time missed seeing their child grow.  Personally, I try not to think too much of those days.  The mind can wander too far into imagining the trauma and tragedies a child might have experienced while in an orphanage or without his/her family.  The milestones missed, the tender bonding that occurs with your newborn, the trust that is built in those important first years, all the days and nights of giving comfort and care, they are forever lost.

But, heartaches are often blessings in disguise.  Look at it this way - if Freddy had grown in my belly, he would not be the child he is.  He would have different personality traits, different genetics altogether, he would not have been a beautiful little Asian boy!  And we don't want him any other way.  He is exactly the child God meant for him to be, and he is in the exact family God intended for him, and that's why God made love grow in our hearts, not in our bellies!! 

Diamonds Sold!

With all the wonderful chaos that was the yard sale, I did not have a chance to post that we sold the diamond earrings!  Just a little background information on these - Jon's stepmother, Mickey, was so dear to us.  It is hard to believe it has been four years since she passed away.  These 1/2 carat diamond solitaire earrings were hers, but she rarely wore them.  We decided to keep the pair of earrings she wore most often for sentimental reasons, and to sell these.  We have tried to sell them for almost 2 years.  Originally, we were selling them to help go to El Salvador for the mission trips to orphanages.  They actually sold on ebay two times, but neither of the buyers ever paid!  Grrrr!  A week ago today, they were again sold on ebay.  We had little hope considering the track record.  By Wednesday, the buyer had not paid, so I had to go through the process of filing an "unpaid buyer case", which was to no avail the two times before.  This time, however, the buyer replied and apologized for his/her delay in paying.  Then they paid!!!!  After ebay and paypal fees, we came out with $298!

Three provisions in one week - a grant, a yard sale, and earrings.  God's goodness cannot even be put into words!

2004 - Jon, Elsie, Mickey, Christella, and Grace (in the belly)

Tees

Our tshirt fundraiser raised $ 915!!!   INCREDIBLE!!

 

Three super-cute little models showing off their tees!

 

Gratitude and Grand Totals!!

Gratitude overflows from our hearts when we reflect over the past few weeks of yard sale preparation.  Many helping hands were there to make the job possible, and many came without even being asked!  Those who anticipate the needs of others and tackle whatever they can have a God-given gift of kindness.  We know none of them look for appreciation or recognition, but they deserve it!  Quite frankly, we can all learn a lesson from their actions.  Multiple hands packing boxes in and out of church so we might take loads home to price.  Three people showing up on very short notice to help us carry a trailer full of boxes into the church.  Mom and Dad pricing a spectacular amount of items in the midst of surgeries and healing times.  Loyal women spending hours on their feet to help organize, despite the fact that they are tired, achy, and have plenty of important events occurring in their own lives to keep them busy.  Almost total strangers giving hours of their time to help sort.  Last minute clothing racks collected and built to make all the items easier to view (one rack built in about 10 minutes by my 12-year-old nephew)!  Our pastor going the extra mile to advertise our fundraiser on the church sign, and continually being on the look-out for items we could sell.  Facebook posts made and shared to spread the news.  Incredible thoughtfulness of friends in bringing us food for lunch and dinner, because we were too busy to take a break.  The Hawkins' stepping-in to care for our three sweetie pies so they were not lost or ignored amidst the chaos, going so far as to take them on outings and give them their baths!  Folks getting up way too early to "man the crowds" by our side.  Friends staying with us all day to help in any way they were needed. 

*Cathy and Roger Carpenter           *Linda Ford                *Allean Ward
*Tracy Monarch and her mother-in-law, who helped almost total strangers for HOURS!
*The Carpenters                                 *The Sapps                 *The Hookers
*Trish and Steve Hawkins                *Gordon Wilkerson 
*Kim Hunt                                           *Chris, Mary, and Cooper Williams
*Bryce Carpenter                                *Mara Hubbard
(If I have missed a name, please let me know.  My brain is a little fried right now from lack of sleep!)

The donations were tremendous!!  We don't even know all the names of those who donated countless items.  There were things that individuals could have easily sold on their own and made quite a profit, but chose to give them to assist our family.  We were totally overwhelmed - look at this photo from Thursday night when all the items were laid out.

So many familiar faces from our church, homeschool group, and family took time out to support the event, often over-paying for the items they were buying, in honor of our little man.  Texts and emails were sent to cheer us on and give us encouragement.  And the clean-up crew!  We thought we would be cleaning up until late tonight, but we were done within two hours because of these fabulous friends!!  The phrase "many hands make light work" was never so true as today.  Here's a picture of almost everyone on clean-up duty:

 

This little boy is so loved.  Our family and friends are literally bringing our boy home!  I know some day when he looks through his "baby" album with memories recorded from this time in our life, he is going to be able to see the evidence of the effort made to bring him to his family.  I can picture his little heart now, knowing and feeling how important he is to so many people.

We ended all the hard work with some fun.  Everyone made a guess on the amount raised.  We wrote them on slips of paper.  When read aloud, they ranged from $300 to $1100.  Paul Sapp had counted the cashbox for us, wrote down the amount, and handed Jon and I the slip of paper.  Okay, drumroll please!!  The grand total raised from our massive indoor "yard" sale . . . .

$1500!!!

Jon and I cried like babies!  We could not even speak the total aloud to everyone else waiting to hear!  Gordon Wilkerson snapped photos of our reaction:

 



 

 

The good news keeps coming - there were enough items remaining to donate to three other worthy causes:  St. Benedicts Mens Shelter, another local church, and a mission trip fundraiser.

 

Final note:  the grant we received this week was a matching grant, which means we had to raise $1500 in order to receive $1500.  Hmmm . . . could God's hand in all this be any clearer?  See what God can do?!! 

 

WE RECEIVED A GRANT!!!!!!

The screaming has commenced!!  We just came home and opened our mail to the sweetest surprise - we are the recipients of a $1500 grant!!!!!  It's actually a $3000 matching grant from Brittany's Hope Foundation, which means we are responsible for raising half of it.  They, in turn, will match those funds!  Amazing, amazing, amazing!!  This is the first grant for which we have submitted an application, and most definitely a motivator to continue filling out the masses of paperwork.  :)  Thank you dear Lord for your provision!!

Myley is currently squealing in the background (just like Mommy and Daddy were . . . okay, mostly Mommy).  She is saying, "Whoo-hoo!  We got $100!!  Whoo-hooo!"  Love it!

smiles!  (and squeals!)

Origami Owl

The Origami Owl Fundraiser raised $150!!!

 

Amy Boswell (left) felt led to help our family in our adoption fundraising, so she spoke with her friend, Samantha Meadows (right), who is also a consultant for Origami Owl.  Samantha agreed to donate party commission to our adoption fund!!

This is the group of ladies who attended the party.

Our family is so thankful to Amy for answering God's call to action, Samantha for her generous donation, and to the following proud owners of Origami Owl lockets:

 

Brittany Zik, Leigha Winslow, Whitney Brown, Erin Basham, Nancy Bates, Tracy Monarch,

Kim Johnson, Joanne Fowler, Gail Arnold, Amy Bellamy, Teresa Sparks, Nikki Roby,

Jill Cash, and Heather Drury

 

Origami Owl's motto is "You tell stories with words . . . we tell stories with jewelry."

We hope your necklace is always a reminder of the help you gave to change an orphan's story!

 

*If you did not get a chance to order, we are having a Direct Sales Event on November 2nd.  Origami Owl, Thirty-One, Gold Canyon Candles, Mary Kay, and hopefully several others will have tables set-up so that you can view and purchase products.  This will be a great Christmas shopping opportunity, with vendors from incredible companies with wonderful products - ALL IN ONE PLACE!  If you know any vendors who would like to participate, please have them contact me.  :)

 

Smiles!